by Maria Mondello, Nicholls University
After I returned home after this summer of working and living with the Little Sisters of the Poor at their home in Pittsburgh, many of my close friends and family were wondering what my favorite part of the summer was, and what were the graces that I received during this time from our beloved Father in heaven. All I can say is that there is not one favorite thing, one grace, or one thing that stood out among the rest. I know that it will take time and prayer and reflection to really understand how good the Lord was to me this summer.
But yet, the truth is that my time in Pittsburgh was way more than just working with the elderly. Being with them seemed to be the backdrop of God working miracles within my heart, showing his unwearied love and mercy to my very weary and tired soul.
I landed in Pittsburgh on a beautiful May evening to a glorious sunset. The symbolism of the sun setting, I later realized, was the sun going down on my former ways of thinking, of living, of loving. I knew little of what God’s plans were going to be this summer and I ready to see them unfold, according to His will. When I was 18, the summer before college, God revealed Himself to me in a way that changed my entire outlook on pretty much everything! He revealed His love, mercy, and forgiveness to me in a way I had never realized before and I knew that I could no long keep running from Him or ignoring him, as I had in the past. But yet, I had always wondered how I was to express God’s love to others. Faith is not just something interior, silent, hidden deep within ourselves, but it should also be shown to the world that there is a God who is love with us and He desires to bestow His mercy upon us, His very own special children. But yet, I struggled living that out. I had given up running college track and left college for a little while to discern religious life, only to return to school, wondering, once again, how I am to serve God, how to love God, how God can use me, unworthy servant that I I am, to build up His Church here on earth for His kingdom. I had also started a seemingly endless search for more. I longed for love, a stronger sense of community, acceptance, belonging, security, and meaning to my otherwise meaningless existence. My search and my questions, instead of bringing me to the truth, led to me a very dark place, a place of despair, and anxiousness. I longed for light, love, and truth. All of this is the backdrop of the greatest adventure I was about the go on, working, living, and praying, at a nursing home that was run by religious sisters.
I had signed up for the spring into service internship during my Christmas break. I was really unsure of the reason at the time. I had little experience with working with the elderly and had never had any contact with a Little Sister of the Poor, so I was slightly anxious, and nervous before the summer started. I was also looking at the religious community, with prayers of hopefully receiving some clarity regarding my call to become a religious sister.
But, as the summer progressed, it became so much more than a simple yes or no to this particular religious community, but it become much more than that. It was the gateway to receiving the most beautiful love and mercy from God, our heavenly father. Through serving and being with the elderly people on a daily basis, I had the opportunity to see, touch, and know God more than I ever could on my own. I felt acceptance and a place of belonging from their simplicity and wisdom and their ability to receive me with open arms. I had always longed to serve God but my efforts never seemed good enough and there always seemed to be an emptiness within my restless heart after various times of trying.
I came to Pittsburgh with the idea that I would be leaving with more clarity and even a major life decisions with this particular religious community. Instead of making a decision with one particular community, I went on journey of knowing God more, of myself having more self- knowledge of myself, and of having my deepest wounds of rejection and abandonment better healed by God, through the elderly residents, as well as the volunteers and employees. Within the home, I found within, the most belonging and sense of “home” that I have ever encountered and I am thankful for that. With that being said, as I flew out of Pittsburgh on an early Saturday morning, the sun was just rising. Dawn was approaching. The light was changing the darkness of the night into a marvelous and glorious morning.
To all Residents (both apartment and nursing), volunteers, employees, and Sisters, thank you for this wonderful experience at your safe haven in Pittsburgh. Thank you for receiving me, loving me, praying for me, feeding me (LOL), and allowing me to grow closer to the all-powerful, loving, and merciful heart of God!
“We may be little, insignificant servants in the eyes of a world motivated by efficiency, control and success. But when we realize that God has chosen us from all eternity, sent us into the world as the blessed ones, handed us over to suffering, can't we, then, also trust that our little lives will multiply themselves and be able to fulfill the needs of countless people?”- Henri Nouwen: Life of the Beloved
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